Over the decades I had completely forgotten about this incident. “Maria” reminded me of it during our much later, and in the end fruitless, assay into friendship.

The desire and frustration built up

It was February of 1975. We’d been dating since the night we saw Van Morrison at the Capitol Theater in Passaic the previous November. We’d progressed rapidly in our sexual awakening, but fear of her becoming pregnant was ever on our minds, holding us back. The desire and frustration built up, exacerbated by the fact that, between our being commuter students and having to hide from her hateful parents, our alone time was quite limited and unpredictable. Condoms were a psychologically unattractive option for us, and something we would have to keep getting and always have on hand.

So, one cold day when we were both on campus and had a couple of coinciding hours with no class commitments, we made the short drive from Rutherford to Hackensack, where there was a Planned Parenthood office.

After discussion with the young nurse there, she decided that an IUD would best serve her needs, as well as mine. I listened, asked a couple of questions, but was always cognizant that this was her body, her choice. I also could not care less what she chose, as long as it worked!

But that is prologue. The funny part was what the nurse said to us as we were leaving. She told us that in her fairly short time at PP, we were the first eighteen year olds who had come in to make such an important decision in a rational and cautious fashion.

A healthy dose of fear can be a good thing!

Dave Ventre
A hyper-annuated wannabee scientist with a lovely wife and a mountain biking problem.