Ah, waiting rooms. Those fluorescent-lit purgatories where childhood dreams went to die a slow, magazine-fueled death. Remember those giant, uncomfortable chairs swallowing you whole like a bad couch on “Laugh-In”? The only escape? Dog-eared copies of National Geographic filled with pictures of naked butts and confusing maps of exotic lands (where, presumably, dentists/ doctors were offices were much nicer).
Today’s waiting rooms are a different breed entirely. Gone are the overflowing ashtrays and stale coffee (replaced by dubious “healthy” snacks that taste like cardboard). Now, we’re bombarded with flat-screen TVs showcasing endless loops of colonoscopies and happy families getting their wisdom teeth yanked. Who needs National Geographic when you can watch actual medical procedures in glorious high definition?
But the anxiety? That, my friends, is timeless. Back then, it was the fear of the unknown – what monstrous instrument lurked behind that closed door? Today, it’s the fear of the bill. Will this visit wipe out my entire retirement fund? Are they secretly filming us for a new season of “Grey’s Anatomy”?
Still, there’s a certain camaraderie in the waiting room. A shared understanding that we’re all just pawns in the grand game of healthcare. You strike up conversations with strangers about their bunions and their grandchildren, united by the universal desire to get the heck out of there. Back when, it was comparing Pokemon cards and wondering if the fish tank actually contained live fish (spoiler alert: it too often did not).
So, the next time you find yourself trapped in a waiting room, take a deep breath, Boomers. Remember, it’s not just you. We’re all in this crazy, sometimes uncomfortable big blue boat together. Just try not to stare at the person next to you who keeps practicing their golf swing with a rolled-up magazine.
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Kevin Driscoll(Mostly) Vegetarian, Politically Progressive, Daily Runner, Spiritual, Helpful, Friendly, Kind, Warm Hearted and Forgiving. Resident of Braintree MA.
I remember the COVID “waiting rooms” when you had to receive a text before being admitted because they didn’t want anyone lingering. No magazines – everything was wiped down constantly. And everyone masked to the hilt. Perhaps that was a better model.
The only waiting room I ever “enjoyed” (sort of) was my dentist’s, who had some really interesting old Life magazines in binders. Those were fun to page through while waiting, if only to see those old ads for Edsel’s!
Who knew that some of the fish in those tanks weren’t real? Kevin, you are a constant source of valuable information!
As always Kevin you leave me laughing!
Now at least we can wile away those long waiting-room waits reading and writing Retro stories!
So true. The best part of waiting rooms today is making connections with people who you’d otherwise never come in contact with and share various experiences, or in my case, if there’s a medical uncertainty, I try to help by referring to competent people.
Although most of this resonates completely, I am pleased to report that the fear of the bill is not the same issue north of the 49th parallel. May it be less of an issue some day everywhere.
Oh Canada – I so much enjoyed Toronto – so cosmopolitan. I find my local Quincy MA to be like that.