(All my poetry encompasses ‘Affairs of the Heart’,
This is a sad one.)
Somehow we knew
we were never right for each other
And yet we allowed
the pageantry to proceed,
I in the bridal gown of my dreams
you, in a slightly small tuxedo
choking you at the throat.
I remember you wanting to run,
leaving your house by the back door,
your mama calling out your name,
your brothers looking through alleyways
your sisters shielding me from pain…
What could I do?
There were hundreds depending on us,
an innocent baby swimming in my womb,
I was probably more afraid then you were –
two scared sacrificial lambs
on their way to the great ole matrimonial dream.
Afterwards, when the dust settled,
when the dazzle dissipated
from all the champagne speeches,
and the bridal-party stumbled home,
we found ourselves alone again
holding on tightly to a money-bag of gifts
and a slightly warped version of the vow.
pattyv
Your poetry is heart-wrenching and beautiful, Patty. In spare words, you capture the essence of the feeling. I can see how it all played out, the terror of the feelings, the wish to escape, but you both proceed for the sake of the unborn child. And then what?
I also appreciate your beginning note – that all your poetry encompasses “Affairs of Heart”; indeed, that prompt does drive so much of our lives, doesn’t it?
Oh Patty , I understand the emotion behind your beautifully written poem.
I’m glad that unhappy time is behind you now and you can write about it so sensitively.
So emotionally naked and lyrically described!
I’ve never been in an exactly parallel situation, but my first marriage was a last stab at saving the relationship. It didn’t work, but nearly killed me. (https://www.myretrospect.com/stories/egrets-in-morning-sunlight/)
“We allowed the pageantry to proceed.” That line really stabbed me. Too close to home, with its punchy and alliterative sound. I could barely pay attention the rest of the way. “Sacrificial lambs.” The “dazzle dissipated” seems a really searing contrast to the bubbly champagne referenced in a nearby line. Yes, I cannot (still) allow it all in, but these are powerful words and images. Thanks for sharing.