Sunburn
One sunny Friday afternoon we went to our local coffeeshop for a quick bite and then to the garage to get the car for our weekend drive to Connecticut.
My fair-skinned husband is prone to sunburn so after putting the convertible top down, he rubbed some sunscreen on his face. Then as he drove I was scrutinizing his profile, as wives in passenger seats are apt to do, when I noticed a drop of something white on his shirt collar. At the coffeeshop he’d complained there was too much mayo in his egg salad, and so I assumed a bit of that egg salad had somehow gotten on his shirt.
There were no handy tissues so I swiped at the white bit with my finger and then put my finger in my mouth. Of course it wasn’t egg salad but a stray bit of sunscreen and it was bitter!
I grabbed the Coppertone tube and there – in all caps – was the dire warning – FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY, DO NOT INGEST.
”I’ve just poisoned myself, you have to get me to a hospital quick so they can pump my stomach!” I cried in mounting panic.
”Calm down and call Coppertone.” said my level-headed husband. And sure enough beneath the dire warning on the tube was a toll-free customer service number, and so I took out my cell phone and called.
The Coppertone rep listened to my sad tale and asked some pertinent questions – my age and relative health, what meds I take, and how much suntan lotion I had ingested.
”Not to worry.” he said after hearing it was just a dab.
I thanked him and somewhat embarrassed I added, “I’m sorry if this sounded a little bit crazy, but believe me I thought it was egg salad!”
“Oh, I believe you lady.” he said, “You can’t make this stuff up!”
I didn’t tell that Coppertone guy, but in my head I had already written this story.
– Dana Susan Lehrman
Dana Susan LehrmanThis retired librarian loves big city bustle and cozy country weekends, friends and family, good books and theatre, movies and jazz, travel, tennis, Yankee baseball, and writing about life as she sees it on her blog World Thru Brown Eyes!
www.WorldThruBrownEyes.com
