Skate Key
Home from school, a hurried snack, bread with both sides buttered, chocolate milk, an apple offered but rudely refused. (“Don’t be fresh young lady!”)
Skates strapped over shoes, no purse, no house key, no hanky, just a skate key on a ribbon around her neck, then out the door. (“Be careful!”)
Down the block, wind in her hair to Susy’s house, a snack offered, now politely refused, and out again. (“Be careful girls!”)
Now two wild skaters with wind in their hair.
Did they know those strapped-on skates had wings, taking them to magic places just around the block?
RetroFlash / 100 Words
– Dana Susan Lehrman
Dana Susan LehrmanThis retired librarian loves big city bustle and cozy country weekends, friends and family, good books and theatre, movies and jazz, travel, tennis, Yankee baseball, and writing about life as she sees it on her blog World Thru Brown Eyes!
www.WorldThruBrownEyes.com
Tags:
Roller skating, Childhood, RetroFlash
Just terrific, Dana. You really have gotten the RetroFlash tone and content perfectly. I particularly loved the parentheticals parental quotes. And that “the skates had wings.”
Thanx John, and thanx once again for jogging my memory!
Wow, Dee! Fabulous use of 100 words! Took me right back to skating around the block with my first BFF. I can almost feel the weight of the key on a lanyard around my neck…the same key I used for hopscotch. I had a feeling you’d fly with the RetroFlash form.
Thanx Bebe for urging me to try Flash!
I remember an art teacher explaining that Giacometti minimized the figures he sculpted as far as he could without leaving them unrecognizable.
Sadly my friend Susy, my oldest friend, died a few years ago, alas I can’t read her my story.
Love that re Giacometti!
I’m so sorry your lost your oldest friend, Dee.
This is great, Dana! I’m so glad you decided to try RetroFlash. Don’t forget that your name and “RetroFlash/100 words” don’t have to be part of your word count – so you actually could have written 5 more words. Not saying that you need to, it’s wonderful as is, just that you could if you wanted to.
Thanx Suzy, it was fun to Flash!
Maybe will add a word or two!
Dana, this is great! The flash thing released a great voice from you!
Thanx Charles, it’s a challenge and it’s fun, waiting to read yours!
Loved the way you used this form, Dana, really poetic. I could feel the close bond between you and Susy (my first BFF, too), the urgency to get out the door, the warning from both mothers and the lyrical freedom conveyed on your skates with the wind in your hair. Really great portrait painted.
Thanx Betsy, those carefree days!
I love this, Dana. As someone who remembers very well those skate keys worn around the neck, you took me back to happy childhood memories. Thanks!
Thanx Laurie, it came back to me in a Flash!
Wonderful Flash, Dana. You hit the “notes” perfectly, and I can see you flying down the sidewalks just like we did in our neighborhood!
Thanx Marian, the universality of our childhood joys!
Very engaging and evocative. My favorite element, from the point of view of technique, is the use of the parental voice with brief utterances in quotation marks. Like any good poem, a few words successfully convey a great deal.
Thanx Dale!
I hope you try this RetroFlash 100 word challenge too!
Ah, life was so much easier, fun and care free when our age was in a single digit. Thanks for taking me back to those times.
Yes indeed it was Joe!