Remembering Gerhard, The Dude Abides
We met Gerhard through our friend Renee and learned that he had been the English professor who years earlier was her graduate school thesis advisor.
The two had remained very close and Renee invited Gerhard to join our group of friends who took turns hosting each other at dinner, and in summer spent weekends together in the country at Renee’s house and at ours. (See Comfort Food for Renee)
And times spent with Gerhard were never dull. He was bright and witty, always ready for a lively debate on politics, or books, or any subject you’d propose. A Victorian literature scholar, every year he’d attend the Dickens Universe Conference in California and regale us with stories of the scholarly and not so scholarly goings-on there.
And always ready with an amusing challenge, Gerhard once asked us each to draft a message we’d like engraved on our tombstone!
One summer weekend at our house I remember how shocked Gerhard was to learn some of us had never seen the 1998 Coen Brothers / Jeff Bridges cult film The Big Lebowski. He found it streaming online and insisted we watch it together that night. We did, and afterwards in typical Gerhard fashion we discussed the film and debated its message.
Then in his late 80s Gerhard developed heart disease and for a time was in cardiac rehab where we visited him. He returned home but was never completely well, and during the pandemic we got the unhappy news that our friend had died.
Like most funerals during that fitful time Gerhard’s service was Zoomed, and thus we missed the solace of mourning him together.
But you are unforgettable Gerhard, the Dude abides.
– Dana Susan Lehrman
Dana Susan LehrmanThis retired librarian loves big city bustle and cozy country weekends, friends and family, good books and theatre, movies and jazz, travel, tennis, Yankee baseball, and writing about life as she sees it on her blog World Thru Brown Eyes!
www.WorldThruBrownEyes.com
We were able to have all the people we wanted at our Stacy’s burial, but we had to Zoom the shivah. Most of the inner inner circle and the rabbi were there in person, but we missed the presence of those who were not there with us.
I understand Dave.
Zooming events is certainly better than missing them all together, but at emotional gatherings like funerals the personal touch is so important.
You can’t hug someone close or cry in their arms on Zoom.