The process of preparing our house to go on the market felt like peeling an onion – layer by layer, my life there disappeared.
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Washed Apple

My father was a wonderful guy and I’ve shared many loving memories of him.  (See My Father, the Outsider Artist,  My Dad and the Word Processor, Saying Farewell to a Special Guy,  and Six Pack)

But he did have some strange food-related tastes and habits.   Apples were his favorite fruit,  and when my mother offered to bring him a snack he’d often ask for a “washed apple”.  Did he think she would bring him a dirty one?

And he had a rather uncouth way of eating an apple –  he’d bite into it,  chew,  and then somehow spit out just the skin!   I have no idea how he did that,  but I wonder – if he didn’t like the skin,  why didn’t he ask my mom for a “peeled apple”?

I also love apples and unlike my dad,  I eat them skin and all,  altho I do have my own idiosyncrasy –  I  must core and slice the fruit before I eat it!

But there is another of my father’s idiosyncratic tastes that I have acquired.  It was his habit of cracking chicken bones with his teeth and sucking out the marrow.

I refrain from doing it in public,  or when dinner guests are at the table,  but alone with family,  and despite their avowed disgust,  I happily chomp away!

– Dana Susan Lehrman

There, we learn profanity before we learn of the adventures of Dick and Jane. Letting fly a string of curses when angry or hurt is to us as natural as breathing.
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Alright, alright alright, let’s talk about pain. You know, that delightful little companion that shows up uninvited and overstays its welcome. Physical pain, emotional pain, the whole damn seldom tasty buffet of pain. We’ve all been there, folks. The good news? You’re not alone. The bad news? It’s gonna happen again.

Now, the medical definition of pain is some fancy way of saying ‘it sucks’. You hurt physically and your body throws a tantrum. Makes perfect sense, right? But then you get this whole other emotional pain thing: Your significant other dumps you, your boss chews you out, your fantasy team that you bet on loses by a single point – suddenly, your insides feel like they’re getting wrung out by an overly enthusiastic masseur.

Here’s the kicker: everyone experiences pain differently. You got that dude at the gym grunting like he’s giving birth to a barbell while I’m over here wincing if I just look at my funny bone the wrong way. Same goes for emotional pain. One person cries over a sad movie, the next one uses it as an excuse to eat a gallon of ice cream. No judgment, by the way, been there, done that, both ways.

Now, let’s talk specifics, shall we? Physical pain: Remember when you were young and invincible? Yeah, me neither. These days, my back feels like a pretzel that’s been left out in the rain. Sleeping? More like lying in a vaguely uncomfortable position for eight hours, hoping it doesn’t turn into sciatica. And don’t even get me started on hangovers. Those are like the universe’s way of reminding you that tequila shots are a bad idea, even when my 22-year-old self didn’t listen.

Emotional pain? That one is a whole different beast. Breakups? Been there, done that, got the slightly-stalkerish ex blocked on everything. Job pain stuff? You bet your arse I have. There’ was nothing quite like the metaphysical dread that came from wondering if I wasted almost my entire adult life in a cubicle the size of a walk-in closet.

But here’s the thing about pain – physical or emotional – it to shall pass. You throw your back out shoveling the driveway? Ice, ibuprofen, and enough Netflix to make your brain melt eventually does the trick. Heartbroken because your soulmate turned out to be a lying, cheating…oh wait that was me. Time passes, psychological therapy helps (maybe), and definitely copious amounts of Chinese food takeout, all contribute to the healing process.

So to summarize: pain is a part of life. It’s gonna happen. But here’s the secret: you learn to deal with it. You find your coping mechanisms. You learn to laugh at the absurdity of it all, because trust me, sometimes that’s the only thing you can do. So the next time you’re doubled over in agony, physical or emotional, just remember – you are not alone. And hey, at least you know you’re still alive, right? Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go take a nap before my back gives out again.

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