Card catalogs, yes. Couples skate? Maybe not.
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More than one (older) person I know has reflected on the shortened time-frame that we all take for granted today.  We get instant news from that third-cousin you met once at a family gathering.  We can read tweets from famous people and comment on them the next day at work.  We can find and discover anything, as long as you can enter a search phrase for it (and heck, Google even completes your search phrases for you).  Why travel?  You can see the whole world as images or in 3D.

For anyone under 25, there is no such thing as waiting for something to happen (unless you need to go to the DMV… I don’t think that’s changed much.)

Take television, for example.  Yes, we still watch two-dimensional screens, but we can choose anything we want to watch, as long as it exists, and we can watch it NOW.  Waiting for your show on Sunday nights at 8pm?  Gone.  Oh, and if you missed an episode you were totally SOL.  You had to wait for re-runs.  We had one TV in the living room; if there was a conflict, well then, let the negotiations begin.

How about pay phones?  Do young kids even know they existed at all?  After all, what are the red English boxes besides a travel machine for Dr. Who?  What if you didn’t have quarters?  Or the operation would come on and tell you to put more money in.  I remember tapping those phones and succeeding on occasion to dial the correct number.  Now, as long as you’re not in the middle of the Mojave desert, there’s no need for them any longer.  Order Chinese take out on your drive home.  Come on, admit that you’ve done that…

What about boom boxes with dual-cassette tapes?  Making a custom tape was huge when I grew up, and we used to steal the songs off the radio.  Many of mine started or ended with an announcer (or I would splice the announcer out, sacrificing a few seconds on each end…).  Buying a song for 99 cents instantly was unfathomable back then.

Pens.  Yes, pens exist today.  Everyone can identify one if they see it.  Does anyone under 30 write anything down?  Rarely.  Who can be bothered when your laptop is already on.  Never mind the annoying clicking sound during a meeting or class, just type, save, and never look at it again.

I have adapted to today’s pace and I enjoy the benefits of it.  I can even be accused of being on the bleeding edge of it on occasion.  But we’ve lost an ability to be patient and to use the time in between to be introspective.  After all, when you have to sit and wait for the bus for 20 minutes with no cell phone or Internet, you can reflect on the day’s activities or what you plan to do later in the week.  You can anticipate going to your grandmother’s house on Sunday.  Maybe she’ll make that casserole you love.  You can observe the people around you and make up fantastical stories about their lives.  You can wonder if you should get a new dog, because after all, you never needed to check the Internet while walking your best friend… and that’s the most important realization of all: that the best moments happen IRL (in real life).

 

UNiversity, BUtterfield, KLondike, WOodward, YUkon—those old phone numbers were so easy to remember.
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My soulmate/boyfriend/future husband

and father of my future children

worked on me with words

until I willingly released the

traditions of high school to embrace

the rebellion of making different choices.

 

Despite the Gunny-sax hippy dress that

was the uniform of proms in those days,

that I had shopped with mom and best friend

for hours in the city for;

he knew that mountains, and outdoor living

would call to my heart more clearly

than girl’s fashion, peer pressure boundaries,

that were actually tighter than the

fearful adults’ lines of

awareness,

And so

Me

My birth control pills

My boyfriend

Our friend since 3^rd grade. Griffis

(who would die at age 40, leaving us in shock)

And our dog

went, instead of to the dance, to Griffis’s family cabin

in the High Sierra.

 

The boys brought fishing poles and tackle

I brought 3 books,

And soon found myself reading,

on a “Day-On-The-Green” blanket,

with the dog bringing me a stick

every few minutes,

on the shore,

banished from the boat with the boys,

because though I can scale and gut and fry- up

and savor

a dead fish,

If I see the struggle to survive in my own eyes

I will plead for the preciousness

of that flashing silver magnificence.

begging for the mercy for the fellow hood of life.

Plus, the dog revealed he was not sea-worthy.

 

That evening in front of a warm and snapping fire

that lit the whole great room

a delicious yellow-flickering-orange

with stomachs full of fresh fried

hand- caught boy- captured

sun- dappled, graduation -days,

very special trout

 

we drank tequila, smoked pot

and pretended to play card games

while we laughed and got teary

and told stories, and sang

and were silent in that sweet swept away but

very very present way,

these 2 boys who I had loved since 8 years old.

These 2 boys who I will love until my dying day.

 

Later, retiring to a 4 poster bed

my love and I explored in a very slow

somewhat drunk

full -of -love space,

the wonders

of this human body’s capacity for pleasure.

 

It is one of those memories that come back

full sensory, with no inclination

to change or twist or enhance,

with a visceral flow of gratitude

from my forehead to my feet.

 

Best. Prom. Ever.

So I am thinking…

 

I need to look at everything

in this house that

holds 31 years of marriage

and two grown children’s

archives,

and ask this

51 year old

almost single

self

what do you need?

Which books of 5 full book cases

do you have to have near you?

Which wall hanging/photos

are touchstones of your

equilibrium and peace?

How to condense

whole phrases

into power words…

OH…

A poem.

 

The apartment is lovely

but a 4^th of what a house holds.

And I know it is good

I know my closets

and shelves and dressers

are brim full of

Yes, but-clothes

Yes, but its missing a button

Yes, but its too tight around here

Yes but I have no shoes to go with it.

As I survey for

the essential

I realize how over-stuffed

my existence is

with things

and photos

and art

and momentos

and on the other side

of this somewhat

painful, slicing

process

is

truer, crisper

Freedom.