Distracted

Distracted

I’m a big reader –  or at least I was.    (See Book Slut, or Why I’m in Six Book Clubs)

Actually a therapist once questioned whether I had an attention deficit because I told him I was easily distracted. –  I invariably forget pots on the stove,  and my son is not the only one in the family who’s forgotten to turn off the taps when drawing a bath.  (See Tracing Our Roots)

And,  I confessed to the therapist,  I often make half the bed and then remember something else that needs doing,  or I leave the dishwasher half loaded when distracted by another task.

Then he asked if I had trouble finishing a book,  and I said no,  and there went his neat ADHD diagnosis.

But since Covid I don’t seem to have the same concentration or sitzfleisch I had,  and I’m surely reading much less.    But then again I think I’m writing much more.

So thanks for small blessings,  and thanks Retrospect!

– Dana Susan Lehrman

Oh, Those Family Dinners

My mother prepared dinner every night for my dad, my brother and me. Meat, potatoes, Birds Eye frozen vegetables. Once in a while a fresh salad. But in those days, fresh vegetables, especially in the winter, were hard to come by. I can still see my mom with her white and red flowered apron tied around her waist, bustling around the kitchen, getting everything ready so she could run to the train station to pick up my father.

He came home from the city (New York) on the 6:18 LIRR train. The three of us sat in the car at the Roslyn station and watched  the passengers (mostly men) disembark, looking for the tall, handsome man in his brown Brooks Brothers overcoat and matching fedora that was my father. When he saw us, my mother got out of the car and moved to the passenger seat so he could drive. My brother and I sat quietly in the back seat waiting to see what would unfold. If dad had been in the Bar Car with his buddies, his voice had a gruff cadence than made me nervous. I often got a stomach ache before dinner.

We sat in a dining booth in the kitchen of our Levitt house. I picked at my food because it hurt to eat it. My dad would yell at me to eat. “Your mom slaved over this for you and your brother,” he’d say. Or something like that. “Eat it!” Sometimes he’d ask me to go find the Tabasco Sauce for him, something he put on everything he ate before he even tasted it. If I couldn’t find it, he’d say I couldn’t find my head if it wasn’t attached to my shoulders. Often, I got up from the table and ran into my room, slammed the door and cried in my pillow, wishing he were dead.

On rare occasions, when things had gone well at work and he hadn’t had too much to drink on the train, he’d bring home petit fours from Horn and Hardart’s or delicious donuts from Mary Elizabeth’s. And on the weekends he’d go to the bakery and deli after his tennis game and bring home bagels and lox and cream cheese. On weekends he made up for all his bad behavior during the week, and I made up for all the meals I didn’t eat during he week.

Needless to say, family dinners have not been a high point of my adult years. Although when I was first married to my first husband and he was an intern at a hospital here in Oakland, on 36 hour shifts, I tried. I would get up at 5 in the morning and prepare a gourmet meal that we shared before he disappeared for all those hours. Then I would bring him dinner in the doctor’s lounge when they gave him a half hour break in the evening. But I didn’t really like cooking, and he didn’t really like Western medicine, and we didn’t really like being married. So you can see where this was headed.

To this day, I do like bagels and lox, though. And I’m very good at preparing it!

With a Baby on the Way

Before my children were born, they each received the classic Boston tale, “Make Way For Ducklings” as a gift. The book is so popular that in May, there is a Ducking Parade, (children dress up as ducklings) and retrace part of the duckling’s route through Beacon Hill to the safety of the Public Garden. Years ago, local sculptor Nancy Schön crafted the image of the Mother Duck leading her ducklings into the Public Garden. It is a major tourist attraction (and people dress them in suitable gear in cold weather, if a Boston sports team wins a championship, etc). and for children to come sit on.

During the Women’s March

During Glastnost Barbara Bush presented a copy of the sculpture to Raisa Gorbacheva for the children of Russia. Both my children took their copies with them.

David and Anna are having a baby in December. When they visited in June, they took some of his favorite books, and I already bought some smaller editions in cardboard for them to have while the baby teeths. Reading is a wonderful way to bond with the baby, increase vocabulary, while away the time, and stimulate interest. Of course the Eric Carle books are delightful. We always loved “Chicka-Chicka Boom Boom”, both for the bright colors and the great rhythm of the words. We read that over and over again. David took those, so I only have a small sample, taken at the local book store (yes, we still have book stores on Martha’s Vineyard). Even “Curious George”, who had his own store in Harvard Square (alas, I think he lost his lease), was great fun. And of course, I loved Babar as a child and read his adventures to my own children. The Golden Books were always winners. David named his cat Kate because he had a Golden Book: Katie the Kitten (it is now in Vicki’s scrape book of photos that I put together when that beloved cat died). I just bought a Golden Book for my first grandchild at the grocery store the other day.

I discuss my love of reading and some of my favorite books in a long-ago story: Girl Stories. Though some of the books I read as a child might be considered “girl” stories, I read them to my own children too, who always enjoyed them. Each has a specific memory for me.

My second grade teacher, Mrs. Zeve read this aloud to us in class, doing different voices for each character (she had been a “radio” major at Michigan State). The characters came alive. She inspired me, a VERY shy little person, to also be interested in theater (that’s really what she was doing). She encouraged me in all sorts of ways, became a beloved mentor and we stayed in close touch until her death from cancer, aged 42, my senior year in high school. I have never seen the movie. I will not spoil the memory of her voice in my head, playing all the roles.

The Mary Poppins books were pure magic. I discovered volumes one and three on a shelf in my mother’s bedroom. The had been passed down from my cousin Lois, my oldest maternal cousin. I was in, perhaps 3rd or 4rd grade when I devoured them. By reading them, I discovered there were two more referenced in the front, which I purchased and also delighted in the tart, magical nanny. The Disney movies prettified her. She is not all that likable, but everything always works out and the adventures are fantastic.

Betsy-Tacy is a very old series of books. This one was a hand-me-down from my next-door neighbor, Lisbeth, seven years my senior and a role model for me. I found she had practiced her handwriting on an inside page when I looked through this book some years ago. I was able to find her in Berkeley, CA, took a copy of the page and got in touch. We’ve been in touch ever since. I loved the quaint story about a new girl in the neighborhood in the late 1800’s who becomes Betsy’s best friend and all the adventures they have. I read this to Jeffrey, who also found the book so interesting, that he noticed there were others in the series. We went to the Newton Library. There were LOTS more in the series. We read them all.

Of course Winnie-the-Pooh is a classic for all generations. I read it as a child, I read it to my children, but my favorite memory of it (beyond the Disney version of it) was at camp in 1966 with my favorite counselor, Grundy. We sort of thought Grundy looked like Pooh, but never mind that. She would read a chapter of the book to us at night after Taps (lights out), doing different voices for each character. Unlike Mrs. Zeve, Grundy was not a theater person, but she did have a talent for this and we were riveted (we were 13 years old at the time). So whenever I think about Pooh and his friends, I think about my dear Grundy (who we learned when I posted the story about her that she died recently).

G’Dee is entirely different. It is a Jewish-themed book about a goat (G’Dee evidently means goat in Hebrew). The author, Helen Fine, came to Detroit to promote her book and I had an autographed copy that I bought at the very first Jewish book fair, founded and run by my Aunt Pauline (Dad’s oldest sister). She was quite a woman! I must have been about 7 at the time. The book takes place in Brookline, MA (a place I did not know at the time) and each chapter is about a Jewish festival. The protagonists are young twins Deborah and David, who receive this goat as a gift from an uncle in Israel. They always get into mischief, but it all resolves well, and each chapter explains (in a delightful way) the meaning of that Jewish holiday. I enjoyed it, but gave my signed copy away when I grew up and left Detroit. When my children came along, I missed it. I now lived near Brookline, learned that Helen Fine wrote it from stories she told to her Sunday School class at Temple Israel, a place I had come to know well and I wanted another copy. The book was out of print. I went to the Brandeis Book Stall (they used to have a used book store in Brookline – the books were sold to benefit the Brandeis library) and I found a copy; we all delighted in these stories.

Now I have a grandchild on the way. I went on Amazon last week. There was one copy. I scooped it up, so the next generation can learn about Jewish customs in a fun way from a mischievous goat from Israel who comes to live with a family not far from where her grandparents reside. L’dor v dor…from generation to generation.