“You will always be friends” the counselor told us. We were too entwined and besides, she had seen it repeatedly in the women’s community, a fluidity of friends and lovers staying connected despite everything. I said nothing but promised myself, “Oh no, we won’t”.
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Karen, seeking a new life, had fled from her family and friends to Kyoto, Japan. She fell into equally bad relationships in the expat community. I have tried to explain her process of separating from me. She joined a potter’s commune on the island of Shikoku where she eventuality became a renowned potter.
One day, after dinner with her troublesome lover, Karen returned to her apartment and made a decision while immersed in her ofuro, Japanese bath. She looked at her body under the water. Small bubbles on her legs desperately held on until the movement in the water broke them away, rising to the surface and disappearing into the humid air of the bathroom. The bubbles refracted and bent the light displacing her reality with an image slightly apart from herself. As she lowered herself in the tub her body felt terrible heat. Slowly she pushed herself against the scorching cushion of the water. A further attack of hot water occurred at her waist where the inlet for the hot circulating water occurred.
Eventually she had to turn it off. Sitting quietly, she could feel the different temperatures recede and extend over her body. She began to monitor these waves as one would apply glaze to a pot and proceed with an appropriate firing. She was not her body. That organism would grow, change, die without her. Her brain would never feel the heat or anchor a bubble. Each part of her had a significance of its own, its own law of nature.
Stretching her body out as far as it could go, she watched the bubbles rise to the top. More adjusted to the temperature she began to think of her life in Japan. She had come to escape. Yet again, she was drowning. Not by her parents, or her college boyfriends, but rather her own loneliness. Under the water, watching her bubbles launch off from her body and disappear into the steamy room gave her a sense of detachment and separateness. Once again, she decided to find a refuge from me and the other expats.
Antisemitism is on the rise throughout the world for many reasons. The Former Guy, who won the election in 2016, made it acceptable to say whatever dark things one might have only imagined in days gone by. People somehow thought it was great that he “said it like it is” – no filter; being rude and uncouth is now in vogue. He has opened Pandora’s Box and it will be difficult to put those hateful demons away again.
On page 1, Boston Globe, 11/11/23
Since Hamas invaded Israel on October 7, 2023, hate crimes against both Jews and Muslims have been on the rise in the US; against Jews, around the world. The situation darkens daily.
But antisemitism dates back thousands of years. Jews have always been viewed as “the other” and singled out throughout the millenia for persecution and exile. Queen Isabella of Spain, of Inquisition fame, banished the Jews from Spain and Portugal in 1492. Recently, in Dubrovnik, we saw the second oldest synagogue in Europe. The expelled Jewish population, who thought they would make their way to the Ottoman Empire, stopped in Dubrovnik, an important trading route along the way. There they were allowed to stay by the Catholic population, given their skill sets and knowledge base, and they built their house of worship. The population was eventually decimated by the Fascists during WWII, and today numbers only 30. A rabbi visits only once a year, but the structure remains and is used by the few locals, a reminder of the history and what has passed.
Dubrovnik synagogue
One isn’t born hating others. It is learned from family, community, those around you. As Oscar Hammerstein wrote for a song in “South Pacific” when an American GI falls in love with a native girl on a Pacific island, but is reminded by his colleagues that it won’t work out: “You’ve Got to be Carefully Taught”.
You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You’ve got to be carefully taught!
Growing up in suburban Detroit, in the parish of Father Coughlin, the “Radio Priest” of the 30s, who preached antisemitism on the radio during the rise of Fascism, was not always a comfortable place to be. I had a few minor run-ins with ignorant boys in high school. One, sitting next to me in homeroom in 9th grade, noted that I missed school on the High Holidays. The day after Yom Kippur, he asked me where my nose was. I pointed to it: on my face. Later that year, backstage, during a play rehearsal, an 11th grader called me a “kike”. I’d never heard the term. I had to go home and ask my mother what it was before I could get angry at him. He said it without malice. I believe he echoed something he heard at his own home. We actually were friends. Thinking back, I believe he was trying to get a rise from me, an unfortunate way to do it. But that was an example of learning a word without understanding how offensive it was. He didn’t get the reaction he wanted because I didn’t know it. Poor judgement all around.
Many years later, I worked in an office in downtown Chicago in 1978. Famously, the American Nazi party wanted to stage a rally in the suburb of Skokie, which had a large Jewish population. The residents did NOT want that to happen, but the ACLU backed the Nazi’s freedom of speech and assembly, as guaranteed in the Constitution. The case went to the Supreme Court and their right to rally was established, though they never did march through Skokie. Instead, on July 9, they staged their rally in Marquette Park in Chicago. It was a lovely, sunny day. I had lived on the north side of town for about three months. I was working hard to establish myself at my new job and new career in sales. I often went to my office to do paperwork on the weekends, as I was in front of clients during the week and that is how I happened to be downtown on July 9, oblivious to what was going on. In those days, I didn’t read a local newspaper.
I spent a few hours in the office and came out into the sunlight. It was a beautiful day and I decided to walk the three miles back to my apartment. I was always in my head, not paying too much attention to the world around me. Suddenly, I was in the midst of a screaming bunch of angry men, wearing brown shirts and arm bands. I absolutely could not believe that in 1978 I was in the midst of a Nazi rally with these horrid people screaming antisemitic chants in my face as I scurried past them. I was shaken to the core. I took it personally.
I sobbed for the remainder of my walk home.
Is it daydreaming if it's dark out?
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Our veterans are some of the most special people in our world. They have sacrificed so much for our freedom and security. On Veterans Day, let’s take a moment to thank them for their service and to celebrate their humor, resilience, and strength.
Here are a few humorous and appreciative thoughts about our veterans:
Thank you to all our veterans for your service. We are forever grateful.
Support Our Troops / Bring Them Home
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Occasionally I learn that they are dead.
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Veterans were synonymous with WWII when I was a child, the good war against the unimaginably evil Hitler but also the horror of the atom bomb. I don’t think I was the only one who wished for “world peace” when I blew out birthday candles or participated in student United Nations.
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The United States of America, a beacon of hope and freedom for millions around the world, is facing a crisis of disunity. In recent years, the country has become increasingly divided along political, social, and economic lines. This disunity is threatening to undermine the very foundations of American democracy.
There are a number of factors that have contributed to the rise of disunity in the United States. One factor is the decline of trust in institutions. Americans are increasingly distrustful of government, the media, and other institutions that were once seen as pillars of American society. This distrust is making it difficult for Americans to find common ground and work together to solve problems.
Another factor contributing to disunity is the rise of social media. Social media platforms have created echo chambers where people are only exposed to information that reinforces their existing beliefs. This makes it difficult for people to understand and empathize with those who have different views.
The COVID-19 pandemic has also exacerbated the divisions in American society. The pandemic has had a disproportionate impact on certain groups, such as minorities and low-income Americans. This has led to resentment and anger among differing groups, which has further fueled disunity.
The disunity in the United States is having a large number of negative consequences. It is making it difficult for the government to function effectively. It is also leading to an increase in political polarization and extremism. In addition, disunity is undermining the country’s social cohesion and making it more difficult for Americans to come together as a nation.
There are a number of things that can be done to address the problem of disunity in the United States. One important step is to rebuild trust in institutions. This can be done by making government more transparent and accountable, and by working to restore Americans’ faith in the media and other institutions.
Another important step is to promote civic engagement. This can be done by making it easier for people to vote and participate in the political process. It is also important to educate Americans about the importance of civic engagement and the role that they can play in making their communities stronger.
Finally, it is important to promote understanding and empathy between people with different views. This can be done by encouraging people to talk to each other and listen to each other’s perspectives. It is also important to support organizations that are working to bridge the divide in American society.
The United States was until recently a nation built on diversity and pluralism. However, these strengths can also lead to divisions if they are not carefully managed. It is important for Americans to work together to address the problem of disunity and to build a more united nation.
Here are some specific examples of how the United States is becoming more disunited:
The rise of partisan gridlock in Congress, making it difficult for the government to pass legislation.
The increase in political polarization, with Americans becoming more entrenched in their own political camps.
The rise of extremism on both the left and the right of the political spectrum.
The decline in trust in institutions, such as the government, the media, and churches.
The increase in social and economic inequality.
The rise of racial and ethnic tensions.
The disunity in the United States is a serious problem that threatens the country’s future. It is important for Americans to recognize the problem and to work together to find solutions.
Understanding and respect can go a long way toward developing a bridge to peace.
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