I’ve never liked to grocery shop. Though, I became a good cook and baker. Go figure.

But to go grocery shopping variously? Count me in. Throw in some competition?  There’s no way I passing this opportunity up!  Maybe you remember, or can guess, what I’m talking about.  YES, it’s the show “The Super Market Sweep’.  To say I adored this show is a colossal understatement.  It originally aired, at least in the Detroit area, from 1965-7.  Super Market Sweep was a game show, and a rather typical one, as game shows go.  I was a healthy kid and so didn’t miss much school.  So, I likely watched it at most a few times. But, man, was I hooked.  And even now, I recall watching it with delight.

The point of the game was to fill your grocery cart to the gills and check out, hoping to have the highest priced cart.  I seem to recall that men and women participated. Contestants lined up at a starting line, with their hands on their grocery carts and their heads focused on filling the cart to the brim with the costliest items as fast as they could.  As the starting bell rang, everyone raced through the store.  However, the game always started with a mad dash to the meat department, as meat was the most expensive item.. Watching people shovel as much meat as they could into their carts, for me, was hilarious.  I don’t remember where the herd went once the all the meat was gone. Perhaps, to the cheese department?  From there, I only remember people scattered to scour the various aisles. Alas, the buzzer to stop rang and everyone raced to a checkout lane.  With everyone’s basket completely filled and laden down, it was impossible to predict the winner.  The person whose cart cost the most won the game and also got to keep all the food.

In truth, even at ten it was the inanity, and frantic energy that most appealed to me.  I couldn’t quite discern the strategy, beyond loading up on meat.  But I suspect contestants created a strategy for themselves.  For some reason this show brought out my competitive streak.  And, this was the reason I longed to play.   For some crazy reason, I was certain I could beat any contestant and win.  Mind you, I didn’t want the food. I just wanted to achieve the satisfaction of winning.

I wish I could remember how many frozen Birds Eye vegetable packages went into the carts.  Birds Eyes frozen peas and carrots were a staple at our dinner table. I didn’t like them then and never have since. Needless to say, once on my own, they never appeared on any dinner plate I served.

I did a bit of research for this essay.  To my utter amazement, the show continued in various forms from its original years.  It actually ran sporadically until, yes, it’s true, just two years ago.  Ending, presumably, in 2022.  Now, the obvious thing to do is to find an old episode and see if it still retains the same thrill.

Supermarkets, those sprawling temples of consumerism, have been a fixture in our lives for over a century. From the first Piggly Wiggly in Memphis to the sprawling mega-stores of today, these retail behemoths have witnessed countless triumphs and tribulations. While most of our supermarket experiences are routine and unremarkable, there are those occasional encounters that stick with us, leaving us laughing, shaking our heads, or even a little embarrassed.

One of the most common supermarket adventures involves the British art of ‘queueing’. There’s a certain etiquette to the checkout line, and those who violate it can face social ostracism. Remember the time someone tried to cut in front of you, only to be met with a collective gasp of disapproval? Or perhaps you’ve witnessed the epic battle between two rival shoppers vying for the last spot in the express lane?

Then there are the encounters with fellow shoppers who seem to have lost their minds. Have you ever witnessed someone trying to fit a watermelon into their purse? Or perhaps you’ve encountered the individual who insists on singing along with the store’s PA system at the top of their lungs? These encounters can be both amusing and perplexing, leaving you wondering what on earth is going on.

Of course, no supermarket adventure would be complete without a few product mishaps. Who hasn’t accidentally grabbed the wrong item, only to discover it at the checkout counter? Or perhaps you’ve experienced the horror of a rogue egg exploding in your grocery bag, leaving you with a sticky mess and a ruined outfit. These unfortunate incidents can be both frustrating and hilarious, reminding us that even the most mundane tasks can have unexpected consequences.

And let’s not forget the occasional encounter with the supernatural. Have you ever felt a cold draft in the produce section, only to realize that a ghost is haunting the aisle of apples? (Yes, I wrote the truth – a ghost.) Or perhaps you’ve heard strange noises coming from the freezer, suggesting that a Yeti is lurking among the ice cream? While these encounters may be more myth than reality, they add a touch of excitement and mystery to my supermarket adventures.

So the next time you find yourself wandering the aisles of your local supermarket, take a moment to appreciate the absurdity of it all. From the awkward encounters to the unexpected mishaps, supermarkets are a treasure trove of hilarious and unforgettable experiences. And who knows, perhaps you’ll even have your own adventure to share one day.

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