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Mother’s Little Helper
After a trouble-free pregnancy, and a complication-free C-section, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. We hired a wonderful baby nurse to show us the ropes, we had loving grandparents living nearby, and I was on maternity leave from a job I loved that would wait for me when I was ready to return.
Everything was perfect – or so it seemed – until a few weeks after the birth I found myself often weepy and feeling at sea.
It became apparent I was suffering from postpartum depression, something more common than I would have guessed. In fact 1 in 8 women have some aspect of PPD with symptoms that may vary from feelings of sadness, to extreme anxiety, or sleeplessness, or irritability, or a sense of being overwhelmed. Some women report feeling suicidal, or even harboring thoughts of harming the baby. In my case I remember asking myself, Is this all there is?
PPD is not completely understood altho the drastic drop in hormones after childbirth may contribute, and unfortunately there is no sure fire medical cure. Joining a support group or seeking counseling can help, altho I did neither. Instead I told my doctor the nighttime baby feedings were taking a toll, and I asked him for something to help me sleep. He gave me a prescription for an anti-anxiety med and warned me not to abuse it – but for a time I confess I did.
Then thankfully at some point the cloud lifted, and I stopped popping those pills. And looking back now I realize that despite the exhaustion and the stress my darker memories are far outweighed by my happier ones, and I miss those early, hectic years!
(For more on those years see My Brown-Eyed Girl, Stay-at-Home Mom, Going Back to Work, Three-Ring Circus, and Our Noisy Nanny)
– Dana Susan Lehrman
Dana Susan LehrmanThis retired librarian loves big city bustle and cozy country weekends, friends and family, good books and theatre, movies and jazz, travel, tennis, Yankee baseball, and writing about life as she sees it on her blog World Thru Brown Eyes!
www.WorldThruBrownEyes.com
Beautiful picture! As you note, PPD is not unusual, so you have lots of company and nothing wrong with you, but it can really upend one. So glad it all passed and most of your memories are the happier ones.
Yes, thanx Khati!
What a great picture of mother and child! Thanks for sharing your dive into post-partum depression, Dana. I could relate to your graphic description beaming right through my gender screen!
Those little pills probably helped on one level, but the Great Hormonal Dance seems to continue on through menopause and into our current chapters. Guys, hormonal shifts can happen to us, too. Wait for it…wait for it…
Thanx Chas.
I know what you mean, am living with a guy in our current chapter!
Thanks, Dana, for sharing this. As a male who has never fathered children biologically (two adopted sons), I have not witnessed PPD with my wife. Your story helps me understand it a little better, and I know it has produced extreme results in some women. I’m glad you were able to move out of it. I hate taking pills if I don’t have to, but I have — in fact — felt the lingering effect (and desire for) pain pills after the need for them has passed. One time after meniscus surgery, my doctor gave me some 30-40 Oxycodones and said take them as I needed them. The pain wasn’t that great and lasted only a day or so. I have no idea why he loaded me up with so many of these dangerous pills.
Thanx Jim, yes they are dangerous and we all probably have way too many pills in our medicine chests.
With this week’s stories we are literally feeling each other’s pain and that’s a good thing!