No doubt early homo sapiens sought amusement amidst their ceaseless struggle for survival, but early ventures proved unsatisfying. “Rock, paper, scissors” doesn’t work well when all you have is “rock”. And “pin the tail on the mammoth”? Not when you have to use real mammoths. But even if successful they would have been mere pastimes. “Games” denote contests between men and women. Exclusively. They are Biblical, foretold in Genesis.
Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman . . ." And the 'woman' said, "Say, what?" And God said, "Let the games begin."
You do know that parts of Genesis have been lost, do you not? Most of us know well Chapter 2. verses 21-23:
“So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh;
and the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.
Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man’.”
But how many know the omitted verses next following:
“And the ‘woman’ said, ‘Say what?’”
“And God said, ‘Let the games begin.’”
Now some games flow directly from that fateful encounter in the Garden of Eden. “Man” said “this at last . . . “ Henceforth “Woman” has said, “At last? I’ll show you ‘at last’”, which is why Man is doomed to wait with increasing impatience as Woman prepares to Go Out. And then there’s “Does this dress make the ‘bone of your bones and flesh of your flesh’ look fat?”
Then there are the games that have evolved over time:
The guessing (ha!) games:
“If you don’t know what’s wrong . . .” and “Do you know what today is?” and “Do you notice anything different about me?” Remember the movie, “War Games”? “The only winning move is, not to play.” Yeah. Good luck with that.
The trap games: “No, I am not angry” and “Do what you think is best” and “Surprise me!” Abandon hope all ye who enter. Except it’s already too late.
I could go on.
Now it might appear to some, say, the “estrogen units” among you*, that I demonstrate a certain bias about the nature of these games. Guilty as charged, but then, I think we likely are all largely blind to the games that we initiate. Regardless, however, perhaps the words of Grantland Rice are worthy of heed: “It not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game”.
A wise therapist used the example of tennis. Some couples take the court and seek merely to hit the ball back and forth, continuing the volley for as long as possible to enjoy the activity as a joint enterprise. Others play to score points. Same game, different approach. Way different result. And it’s up to us which we choose.
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* A coinage of a classmate, herself an estrogen unit.
Tom SteenburgRetired attorney and investment management executive. I believe in life, liberty with accountability and the relentless pursuit of whimsy.
Very clever, Tom. I enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.
Tom, I really got a laugh out of this and must confess I have played a few of these games over the years. A version of does this make me fat — do I look good in this. There is only one right answer to that. It is expected that my husband should know what I want or how I feel. Having to tell him ruins the game. Just played a game with my husband called, what are your grandkids’ birth dates? Our game is that I remember, buy the gifts, sign the cards from both of us, and he asked just before presenting the gift, “What did *we* get?” It works both ways!
Thanks, Laurie
I, too, know the know the ‘what did we give” game. I think the estrogen unit spouse’s perfect answer would be [drum roll, given this week’s prompt] the game of Clue, because you’re Clueless, dear.
Tom, this is the perfect story for this prompt, funny but also so true! Thank you for making my day! I may have even played some of these games myself. “Do you notice anything different about me?” is a fun one that seldom gets the “right” answer. Another trap game besides the ones you mention is to say “Fine” when it isn’t fine at all – I think my husband finally figured that one out. Also saying “Do you think we should …” when what I really mean is “I want to … regardless of what you think.”
The tennis analogy is brilliant. I will have to remember it and pull it out at the appropriate time.
Thanks, Suzy. The tennis story dates from about ten years ago. A couple of years ago the NYT had an article featuring the story, and I was able to track down my old therapist and send it to her.
Great recap, Tom. I also like the “Whatever” game, as in “which restaurant shall we go to” or the like, when the estrogen unit is peeved and the testosterone unit is clueless (:-).
My favorite (NOT!) testosterone unit game is “I don’t need no stinking map.” Unless, as is sometimes the case, it becomes something of a scavenger hunt, and then it’s actually a really fun game, and we both win in the end.
Oh, THAT game. I”m a pro, although the adjective I use is not “stinking”. (“Stinking” is to be used only with “badges”) But back to the game, I’m also quite good at its derivative game, I Know a Shortcut.
Ah, Tom….”I Know a Shortcut” is one of MY personal favorites.
Ah yes Tom, the game we all play, the proverbial battle of the sexes!
May the best woman/man win!
Yes, but maybe the best women and men DON’T play. Nah. We all play.
Yeah., we do!