It was our friend Jack who recommended Aidan to us. We needed someone to paint the house interior, and he assured us that Aidan was the best. He was also an artist, a perfectionist, and a quixotic Irish fellow who presented us with a four-page estimate in hand-written calligraphy. Yes, he was available, and yes, he could be finished by our deadline. And so it began.
He was meticulous and the work could not be faulted. He wondered if he should paint the beam in the dining room, which was actually a faux beam, and proceeded to create a stunning facsimile of real wood. The house was draped in drop cloths and we felt a bit like Murphy Brown, the sit-com character with a perennial painter in her house. He became chatty, and told us of the time he had to move out of a hotel room in the middle of the night because he couldn’t sleep with the room’s hideous paint job. A sensitive fellow.
Not surprisingly, our deadline was fast approaching and the painting was far from complete. We had eloped to Niagara Falls in early August and invited all our friends and relatives to a belated reception in Oakland in late September, many of whom had never visited our house. We wanted it to look good. Sally prodded Aidan, who became defensive, and the relationship soured.
As they worked through the tension and figured out some compromise, Sally decided to invite Aidan to the reception. At this, he visibly brightened and asked, “So, do you want me to bring me gongs?” It turned out he was a highly accomplished gong master, and assured us that he could set the gathering on a harmonious and loving path with a gong ceremony at the start. Well, um, okay, maybe that would be nice. How long is such a ceremony? The complete version could take 45 minutes, but he would cut it way down for our purposes. Ever the optimists and not wanting to offend him, we said that would be lovely.
By the time of the big day, the house was tidied up enough to appear presentable despite unfinished tasks. The reception venue, the Sequoia Lodge, was a rustic wooden pavilion in the oak woodlands, and was enchanting in the filtered sunlight. it was being transformed with greenery, tables, catered food, space for a band, and people filtering in. Family had come from Maryland, Minnesota, South Carolina, Arizona. Good friends we had known for decades showed up.
And Aidan came with his gongs and dressed in a shirt with stars and moons. It was more than we had expected, especially the largest gong which was two or three feet in diameter, hanging in a large wooden frame. There were also smaller gongs and various percussion sticks, and Tibetan singing bowls. Serious gong show.
He asked us to be seated in the middle of the room as the other guests all stood around the edges in a circle, becoming quiet as the room filled with gong reverberations. He tapped the various instruments, then got the bowls singing and walked around us several times, and again, and again. Time seemed endless. I muttered to Sally, “How long does this go on for?” and she whispered, “Just go with it. “ In truth, Aidan the artist and perfectionist was as skilled with the gongs as he was with the paintbrush.
Although it seemed forever, the gonging was probably no longer than ten or fifteen minutes. As it concluded, Sally looked around at the circle of guests who seemed to be politely withholding judgment and then burst into a big smile and proclaimed, “Welcome to California!”
Maybe Aidan was right and the gong ceremony set the right tone; everyone had a good laugh and we all had an absolutely wonderful and unforgettable celebration afterwards. And the inside of our house had the finest paint job in its own good time.
Khati Hendry
A wise choice to invite Aiden to your celebration and let him commence with the Gong Ceremony. It set everything on the right path and accomplished the right goals. It sounds charming too. You showed a lot of patience that paid off.
It all turned out well, but it was definitely a unique experience. It helps if you don’t take yourself or the ceremony too seriously, and just remember it is all good. Which most of the time it is.
Wonderful story Khati! I wonder how many of your friends and family had ever been to a gong wedding ceremony?
Aidan’s story about moving out of a hotel room because of the hideous paint job reminds me of Oscar Wilde’s dying words that reportedly were, “This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do.”
Thanks Dana, glad you liked it. I think it was a first for everyone. And thanks for sharing the Oscar Wilde story—perfect! In this case, the paint job won and Aidan was the one who went.
Wow, this is absolutely the first story I’ve ever read about a house painter who moonlights as a gong master (or vice versa)! Nicely told, Khati, and thanks for sharing it with us.
Thanks Jim. It was certainly the first (and so far only) time I experienced that combination. It’s always nice to share the unexpected.
What a unique addition to your wedding. I have never heard of a gong ceremony but will have to google that later. Looking back, you have a very special memory of your wedding.
Yes indeed many unique memories of the wedding (Niagara Falls) and the delayed reception in Oakland (gong!). The gong ended up being a way for all the guests to participate in a ceremony with us, though we really hadn’t planned it that way, and I think it made the celebration even happier in the end. And I didn’t even include the part where the women’s swing band played “O Canada”.
Khati, there is so much to love about this story! A house painter who presents his bid in calligraphy. A meticulous paint job, including a wood facsimile on a faux beam. The reference to Murphy Brown. The shirt with stars and moons. And of course the gong ceremony at your wedding reception. Wish I had been there, too bad we weren’t in touch at that time.
If only! You would have had a good time too 🙂
A very enjoyable passage (for me the reader) through an unexpected kind of ceremony! The author of “A Year in PRovence” solved the problem of French workmen all delaying getting their jobs done by inviting each and every one of them to a Christmas housewarming, and bring the wives too. Every one of these slow-paced, forever delaying trademen finished on time.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed the journey. Looks like we were channelling that same narrative as the Year in Province indeed. Now I am motivated to read the book, which I heard of but never read. Like so many books. Which I now theoretically have time to get to.
Did your friendship with Aiden continue post gong show? Was his gong presentation associated with any particular cultural tradition ( like a school of Shamanism)? Did he offer verbal explanation and/or chants, or let the gongs speak for themselves? Did he paint within budget? Interesting that he should have the two distinct skills, the painting and the gong (the calligraphy makes three, but that may be subsumed in the graphics of the painting); do you detect an internal connection between the two? I have found wall painting can lull one into an inner tranquility, the repetitive strokes, the fumes, like polishing Mr Miaggi’s car in the Karate Kid (thank you for the reminder of Murphy Brown and the shtick w her painter). It’s not clear to me whether, in the end, you were pleased with Aiden’s gonging or merely tolerated it? It does seem that he formed his ceremony around you, and provided you his blessing, and did not overstay his time slot as several ceremonial leaders I have endured as a wedding guest have. A warm and engaging story. How was the elopement to Niagara Falls?
Well, I can see that the story stimulated your curiosity! We didn’t really keep up with Aidan in part because we moved to Canada the following year, and I think he may have returned to Ireland. I am really unfamiliar with gonging traditions, but suspect he embraced the form and added his own twists. I was skeptical, maybe a little embarrassed, by the ceremony but have to admit that it did literally set a tone and created ritual that enhanced the whole crazy day and helped keep us from being too serious. So, pleasantly surprised it went as well as it did. I don’t recall any detailed exposition about the gonging–the gongs did the talking. I think the nexus between the painting and gongs lies in the artistry and attention to detail. I seem to have suppressed memory of the painting budget. The elopement to Niagara Falls is another whole story, full of its own twists and turns but overall quite wonderful. We didn’t know it would lead to us emigrating and all the changes that involved, but we are living happily ever after.
So many people have unseen depths!
Great comment from the scuba diver! And so true. So easy to underestimate and dismiss others.