We scour every aisle, every shelf, then finally ask for help.
As we’d let our fingers do the walking earlier in the day, Garth holds up his iPhone to show him the item we're looking for. There it is, supposedly in stock, in this store.
“No, we don’t carry those,” he says firmly, clipboard in hand, headset in place, period, end of conversation, and he turns his back — and his man bun — on us.
Pissed at his attitude, we almost leave but on the way out pass another sales clerk…or retail associate, I should say…and decide to try again. As we’d let our fingers do the walking earlier in the day, Garth holds up his iPhone to show him the item we’re looking for. There it is, supposedly in stock, in this store.
This clerk…er, I mean associate…then races us around the store, down every aisle, twice. No luck, but at least he finally turns us over to a manager, slightly older and very helpful, who finds the item in the stockroom and even escorts us to the checkout line. After standing behind the other “guests” and bouncing to the throbbing techno beat while we wait to pay — okay, I’m bouncing; Garth is pretending he doesn’t know me — we buy the now precious item and leave the store, strangely satisfied and dissatisfied at the same time.
This little incident reminds me of the Louis C.K. episode (I know, but please read on) in which he goes into a trendy kitchenware store and the young woman behind the counter refuses to help him because she’s ostensibly getting ready to close. He confronts her, saying something like “You know, I come into stores like this and I spend a lot of money. I buy a lot. You just lost a big sale.” And she goes off on him, big time, about how people her age are “…the future, and you don’t belong in it. Because we’re beyond you, and naturally, that makes you feel kind of bad. You have this deep-down feeling that you don’t matter anymore.” She goes on and on…it’s a spoof, of course, but, man, like all good comedy, it rings with truth.
I don’t know if our particular experience was about ageism, laziness, incompetence, or perhaps a brew of all three, But maybe I just need to get over it, because frankly, I’m tired of being pissed off.
Barbara BucklesArtist, writer, storyteller, spy. Okay, not a spy…I was just going for the rhythm.
I call myself “an inveterate dabbler.” (And my husband calls me “an invertebrate babbler.”) I just love to create one way or another. My latest passion is telling true stories live, on stage. Because it scares the hell out of me.
As a memoirist, I focus on the undercurrents. Drawing from memory, diaries, notes, letters and photographs, I never ever lie, but I do claim creative license when fleshing out actual events in order to enhance the literary quality, i.e., what I might have been wearing, what might have been on the table, what season it might have been. By virtue of its genre, memoir also adds a patina of introspection and insight that most probably did not exist in real time.
Been there, done that. Barbara, your story relates to ageism and the expectations our generation has for respect and service from “associates.” Back in the day, the motto of Marshall Field’s in Chicago was, “Give the lady what she wants.” Ok, that’s sexist and terrible, but customers/guests were valued. Now Fields is Macy’s and I don’t go there. You are lucky to even find a sales associate to take your money, and the concept of getting help is long gone. On the other hand, I’m sure those associates are poorly paid and have no investment to providing a service. Easier to shop online. Sad.
OMG, when you wrote “sad” like that it made me think of His Orangeness! Intentional? Isn’t it amazing how his inanities have become part of our lexicon? Like “huge”…I can’t say it without thinking of him. Dammmit!
Alas, I don’t think these folks know what service means because they haven’t experienced it. Even companies have HR employee “self-service” where you do everything from a website. Heaven help you if you have questions because there are no real people at your location! Anyway, although I love to see products “in the flesh,” I’m about to order a bunch of products online because there isn’t any other practical way.
Interesting point about not knowing what service means if you haven’t experienced it. Today it seems like asking for or needing service is almost looked down upon, and those who provide services deemed subservient to those who use them.
Never meant to make you think of His Orangeness — that would truly be sad.
The others make great points, Barbara. We grew up before on-line shopping existed, sometimes we even had sales people who knew us by name and going to a store was a pleasant experience. No longer and the “associates” who wait on people don’t know the merchandise and don’t really care to help us. SO frustrating. But time marches on and we can’t turn back the clock. I am so petite that I really have to try things on before buying, so don’t shop for clothing on-line a lot, but that’s a different story.
I used to drive out of my way to frequent establishments where people knew my name…unfortunately, they no longer exist. At least when you shop online you’re greeted by name..Amazon always remembers me!
This is a great story, Barbara, and I have totally had the experience you describe. I guess I never ascribed it to ageism, but rather to general incompetence. Are you thinking they would have tried harder to help a young person? The best place for customer service is in the Apple store, and it pains me to say that, because I hate Apple, but their genius bar people are really helpful and patient. I’ve also gotten good service at clothing stores that market to older women, like J. Jill and Chico’s. Maybe they have reverse ageism – they ignore young people who come into the store!
Yes, I do think the first associate would have paid more attention to a younger person but of course there’s no way of knowing. It’s just that feeling you get of not really being seen. And yes, a different experience at those other stores you mention for me, too. Maybe it comes down to the store and their overall branding and attitude.
Great story, Barbara; so much resonated. And I loved how you dropped in all the current jargon that is somehow intended to transform the sale into some sort of “experience,” but is mainly just empty semantics.
As I further considered this, I think I have avoided such experiences for the most part by automatically gravitating to the older “associates.” Indeed, I remember a particularly gratifying experience recently when I was in Nordstrom’s with my wife and she was having a tough time finding a fancy, but age-appropriate dress for a wedding we were going to, and finally found a woman of about our own age who could not have been more helpful. (She had been in real estate for years previously, she told us.) And, because we dropped so much on the — perfect — dress for my wife, I was entitled to a “bonus” in the men’s department — yeah, I know, anachronistic and maybe even a bit sexist, but still… — and the “associate” escorted us downstairs and put me in the capable hands of a guy who was also an age-mate who helped me find a very nice, subdued sports jacket.
I get it that Norstrom’s is particularly known for service, but we sure liked being handled so well by fellow geezers.
Thanks, John…and I love your explanation of the jargon! And yes, Nordstrom’s! I had a strikingly similar experience there when shopping for a wedding I was going to, including the “bonus” which in my case was some costume jewelry which perfectly complimented the outfit. I always choose Nordstrom’s if I need to go to a department store! They have the right idea…there are lot of us who still savor the type of shopping experiences we had back in the day. My favorite was Robinson’s in Beverly Hills with its mid century modern design, elegant tea room, and even a luxury fur salon where models actually modeled the merchandise. Now see what you’ve done, John…there I go down memory lane AGAIN! Don’t get me started on Bullocks Wilshire with its Art Deco copper-patinated tower, porte-cochere, murals, perfume hall as you enter, travertine floors…okay, clearly I miss the good old days. There, I’ve said it. Every once in a while it just slips out.
Get over it?
OK Boomer, I’ll try!
OK, Dr. Tom will prescribe the remedy for you, Barbara and all who wish to partake. There are still retail experiences as we remember or at least wish them to be. Provided you have a local independent hardware store. Fortunately I have one within five miles. The ones that have basement showrooms as well as main floor showrooms. The ones with proprietors who can tell you precisely whether they have what you’re looking for and will lead you to it. One of my favorite old time hardware store stories is now a bit dated, almost twenty years old, and in Chicagoland. I had purchased a plasma HD TV and was having it wall mounted; the installers, who knew what they were doing, said that it needed a “clock outlet” – on that is recessed in the wall so that the clock, or in this case, the TV would fit flush on the wall. These were once ubiquitous but are now scarce. I went to my neighborhood hardware, found the proprietor, who was retrieving something for another customer, told him what I needed, and watched him, without looking, pluck it from a nearby shelf. Sigh.
Thanks, Dr. Tom! I do try to shop mom-and-pop but so often succumb to convenience. But even our local Ace hardware store is staffed with very helpful, and mostly older, sales clerks (who don’t mind being called “sales clerks”). It does seem like age has something to do with it.