Fame by Proxy is the name of a 2008 album by a band called If I Had A HiFi, which is a palindromic name. (Read it backwards if you don’t believe me.) All the members of the band also have palindromic names, such as Dr Awkward and Mr Alarm. I have never heard any of their music, and it has nothing to do with my story. I just like the album title, and it satisfies my need to give all my stories musical titles.
A relative of mine became famous as a result of a combination of factors that could not possibly have been anticipated.
I have recently been enjoying some fame by proxy myself. A relative of mine has become famous as a result of a combination of factors that could not possibly have been anticipated. This fame, while not sought out by the relative, has been accompanied by some degree of power, and is therefore useful in getting many beneficial things accomplished that might not have happened otherwise. As a result of all this, my relative is getting interviewed by journalists of the print and electronic media, and is getting adulation on facebook and twitter whenever anything is posted by or about them. (I am using the plural pronoun, although it is grammatically so wrong, in order not to reveal the gender of the relative. It is too bad that English does not have a gender-neutral singular pronoun, especially in this era of people who are non-binary and reject the use of gendered pronouns. But that’s another story.)
Fame by proxy has been quite exciting for me. Every time something good that they do is reported in the press, which is often, I get heaps of congratulatory emails, texts, and facebook messages. Sometimes I wake up to these messages before I even know what has happened. And I get all this attention without actually doing anything myself, except being related. I graciously accept the praise and admiration, and promise to pass it on to my relative, which I do. It is so much fun for me to watch the interviews and read the magazine articles, casting a whole new light on someone I have known my entire life.
Recently I visited this relative and spent a week at their house. I got to see and share some of the perks of their fame. They have a security detail, which takes them everywhere they need to go. For me, this meant that if I went anywhere with my relative, I got to ride in air-conditioned comfort in a spacious luxury car instead of taking public transportation. When I accompanied them to a speech they were making, we got whisked into the building through a back entrance because there were demonstrators outside the main entrance (they were protesting someone else, not my relative, but the detail wanted to avoid them). We were taken to a room with a big spread of food, including lox and bagels, fruit, pastries, juice, and coffee, which had been set out just for us. We waited in this private room until it was time for the speech, and then those of us who accompanied my relative were escorted to reserved seats in the front row.
This fame by proxy is the best of all possible worlds for me. I get the enjoyment without any of the responsibility or worries. I’m sure this is as close as I will ever get to being famous, and I must say that I find it extremely satisfying!
P.S. I am posting this story on my birthday, which is the one day every year when I feel a little bit famous because of all the attention I get from relatives and friends. That is the right amount of fame for me!
Suzy
First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sister from another mother! (I already offered those wishes on Facebook, but worth offering again.) Secondly, I know of whom you speak in that gender-neutral way of yours and even I get all excited, in a second-hand, proxy way, and nudge my husband when I see them giving a speech on TV, or at least referenced in a news story. That person is fighting the good fight and doing great work for our country, so I am grateful by proxy! I saw them mentioned by Samantha Bee last week! Keep up the good work! Very exciting, and fun for you to share the perks when in the same city. Thanks for giving us a glimpse.
Thanks, Betsy, for your nice comment, and for sharing the excitement. It’s great to think of you nudging your husband when you see references to my relative! And I loved your birthday video on facebook!
Of course, I also know of whom you speak, so this was terrific to read about. And, as you know, I had my own “Fame by Proxy” in my prior married life — though I referred to it as “Zelig-like.” Thus, I could really resonate to your story. FBP has, at least in the short run, all the advantages of fame and none of the disadvantages. (The disadvantages only come if/when you want to be a bit famous for yourself, and not just in relation to the other person. )
You have really captured the fun and perks of FBP. And your title is, as usual, pitch perfect. (Plus any band whose members take on palindromic names is way cool already.) Thanks so much for sharing. Can I have your autograph?
Glad my story resonated with you. You could certainly write a fascinating FBP story of your own based on your first marriage. Maybe even a whole book. Or did you have to sign a non-disclosure agreement as part of the divorce? It’s not too late to post a story here in response to mine. 🙂 I’ll give you my autograph if you give me yours!
I’m also happy that you appreciated the palindromic band I discovered. I thought that was really fun, and I actually plan to listen to their music at some point. I’ll let you know if it’s any good or not.
There was no need for an NDA in my first marriage. The code of Omerta was clearly understood and strictly enforced. I’m lucky to be alive today.
Do advise if you listen to If I Had A Hifi. I particularly want to know if their songs sound the same played backwards. (Or do they just say “I buried Paul”?)
Their songs are terrible! They probably DO sound the same played backwards. Too bad, I really wanted to like them.
That is really disappointing to hear. I was tempted to express that thought in a palindromatic fashion, but was not clever enough to do so. Turns out that “suck” is not spelled the same way backwards and forwards.
I enjoyed reading your acrobatic (and successful!) efforts at protecting the anonymity of your fame by associate. I would also suggest that the acorn that falls from such a family tree may possess similar qualities attributed to the famous, different in nature tho they may be. There! Figure THAT out! I’d also suggest that fame may be too narrow a term to describe the quality of greatness attributed to said relative. I close with a quote from the source of this greatness. “We don’t have time to despair!” Right on, relative, and right on Suzy, for growing as part of this family tree, be it oak, chestnut, or other wood ;-)!
Thanks for your comment, and for appreciating the greatness of my relative! You are right that the fame aspect is the least important part, but it seemed to fit with this week’s prompt.
I love your story, your concept, and your title. FBP is definitely a thing and your account of its perks had me nodding and salivating. As I read, I wondered about the people on the other side of the velvet rope, staring and wondering “Who are THEY?” Perhaps someday they will have their 15 minutes of FBP as well. Hope you had a wonderful birthday.
Thank you, John. I did have a wonderful birthday, and posting a story here, and getting the initial comments on it, was part of the wonderfulness. I like your thoughts about the people on the other side of the (in this case figurative) velvet rope. If Andy Warhol is right, they all will have their 15 minutes at some point.
Sorry, as a hopeless fan of the palindrome, I got sidelined by your opening sentence and had to do a little more research where I discovered additional bandmates NoiseLesion, RenoLoner, YaleDelay, and RevEver. (And now I’m thinking of changing my name to AbaRaba.) I took your cue and didn’t bother listening to their music.
Now I’m back, and what a fun, clever story! Sounds like FBP is a little like being a grandparent…you get the perks without the responsibility. You may not remember telling me, but I also know of whom you speak and their distinguished success which I would love to hear more about one of these days.
I’m actually confused now about If I Had a Hifi, because when I searched for them again on Youtube, I found two women singing some very nice harmonies. So there may be more than one group using this name. You might want to check them out. And I love the idea of you using the name AbaRaba!
OK, Suzy, I couldn’t wait until Sunday to read this. I do know who they are and why you are so proud of your FBP person. I’m an admirer, of course. You come from an amazing family. The perks of FBP are fun, and the achievement is so admirable. And happy early birthday!
Thanks, Laurie. I appreciate your comment, and am glad you didn’t wait til Sunday.
Suzy, congrats on a “rerun” of this story and happy birthday. One of these days we might have a big reveal on who this relative is once they aren’t in the spotlight. With all that fame, privacy is sacrificed. Did they have a hard time with that?
They may never be out of the spotlight unless they stop doing what they are doing, which is unlikely. I think they have managed to maintain their privacy pretty well. But their facebook page doesn’t allow any comments, which is hard for me, especially on their birthday. So I have to resort to emails and texts, which they probably like better anyway.
Happy Birthday Suzy! Wishing you good health and happiness and all the fame – or fame by proxy – that your heart desires!
(And will you ever be able to reveal the identity of your famous relative, we’re all in suspense!)
Thanks, Dana. Looking forward to my birthday celebration tomorrow. And I’ll be happy to tell you (and Marian) who it is privately, just not in a public space like Retrospect.
Thanx Suzy, do tell, I’m all ears!