Lacking a logical sequence
Early on I broke
In black and white and slow motion.
Unaware of the cracks
Pieces missing large and small
I plowed forward
Heedless, fearless, helter-skelter
And whenever things went sideways
Jumped on the bandwagon
Blamed myself
Just not good enough.
Repeat, repeat
Maybe halfway through
I stumbled over clues
Began restoration
Dug through archives
Mended, tended to
Until all things considered
Inherent value untouched
I was as good as I could be.
Finally able to connect with others
I reconnected with myself
That smart, funny, lovable girl
Just in time for real, true love.
///
100 words / RetroFlash
Barbara BucklesArtist, writer, storyteller, spy. Okay, not a spy…I was just going for the rhythm.
I call myself “an inveterate dabbler.” (And my husband calls me “an invertebrate babbler.”) I just love to create one way or another. My latest passion is telling true stories live, on stage. Because it scares the hell out of me.
As a memoirist, I focus on the undercurrents. Drawing from memory, diaries, notes, letters and photographs, I never ever lie, but I do claim creative license when fleshing out actual events in order to enhance the literary quality, i.e., what I might have been wearing, what might have been on the table, what season it might have been. By virtue of its genre, memoir also adds a patina of introspection and insight that most probably did not exist in real time.
Characterizations:
moving, well written
Beautiful, Barb. I’m so glad you decided to write this.
Thanks, Laurie…still taking it easy, in a pensive mood. Just felt right.
I love this, Barb, and how true. Before you can deeply reconnect with others, it helps to be in a connected place with yourself.
Absolutely. And similarly, how can you love someone else if you don’t love yourself? It sounds trite…I thought so for years, pooh-poohed it. But now I know it’s true.
Wow, Barb, this is amazing. “Finally able to connect with others I reconnected with myself.” So powerful! Glad that your pensive mood led you to write this. And I love the picture – just perfect!
Thanks so much, Suzy! 100 words is about all I had in me. I love that we can turn to a RetroFlash…it’s a wonderful option.
This left me speechless, Barb. Where to begin…the photo, so beautiful but lonely. The first paragraph feels sort of heartbreaking; sad, makes me want to reach out and hug you. Don’t blame yourself. But then, redemption. You have broken out of that destructive cycle and found love and happiness (I think about your wonderful Valentine piece). You talk to the three other Admins, but I am not part of the discussion, so am not clued into your current mood. But thank you for giving us this beautiful offering. It is straight from your soul. You have great beauty to offer, Barb. Never doubt that. I know your path hasn’t been easy or straight, but you have connected with a big fan on this side of the country.
Oh, Betsy…you are such a sweet friend. I can’t thank you enough, so I won’t try except to say that you’ve absolutely touched my heart. My mood has to do with not feeling well after my second vaccine. I almost didn’t post a story, then it just came to me so I went with it. I’ll be commenting on all the other wonderful stories as I’m able…I’m such a wuss!
Ah, thank you for answering. Now I understand and know you’ll be better soon. Massachusetts just made the boomers (65+) eligible as of Thursday morning at 8am and let me tell you, it was unbelievable. I do believe the governor will be voted out of office for this. The website couldn’t handle the traffic, the reservations weren’t posted for hours, my husband and I tried for hours, but we did, each secure our first shots for next week, though not at the same place or on the same day. To be continued…
Have you set this to music, Barbara? It’s very touching and I can imagine it being a song in the style of James Taylor or Carly Simon. Anyway, thank you for sharing.
If only I had that talent, Penny, but thank you sooo much for that very kind thought!
Brava Bebe, thanx for this lovely piece and for your openness, your honesty, your guts and your many artistic gifts! Keep sharing!
Thanks so much, Dee!
This is terrific, Barbara. There’s just something about the economy of poetry that is so effective in communicating. And yes, reconnection begins at “home” even when it seems that it ends there.
Thanks, Tom! In poetry I find less need to explain. Much like flash writing, it’s almost minimalist. Re your point about reconnection and home, it reminds me of a mobius strip. Thanks for those observations…they made me think a little more deeply about my writing.
A lovely post—your honesty and pain is shared by many who do not feel connected. How wonderful to have found connection as well.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Khati!
Quite moving. Sometimes we forget that our inner circle includes us.
Well said…thanks, Dave!
This is just beautiful and touching poetry, Barb. Plus, you seem to have absolutely perfected what RetroFlash is supposed to do. I am both delighted and humbled.
And your brilliant point was, as they say, hiding in plain sight. We must first connect –or reconnect, if necessary — with ourselves if we hope to do the same with others. Thank you for reminding us of this.
And, yes, great featured image, too.
Thanks for such a lovely, multi-layered comment, John! I think the beauty in RetroFlash is the surprise element…surprising ourselves as it takes its shape, and then surprising readers with its subtle punch.
So many good sounds embedded in this powerful poem. “Heedless, fearless, helter-skelter.” All those S sounds and H sounds and L sounds mixed into a symphonic rhythm.
Thanks for noticing, Dale!