Me & Larry c. 1957
My brother Larry is a real jerk, but he has really good manners. Whenever he spends time at a friend’s house, his friend’s mother calls to tell our mother how polite he is, and she has to announce it to the whole family. Personally, I think he’s just like Eddie Haskell. Last night on Leave it to Beaver, Ward Cleaver said “Eddie is so polite, it’s almost un-American.” That’s my brother. Not un-American, whatever that is, just that it’s all an act. Good manners can mask bad character. I’ll take a good person over good manners any day.
RetroFlash/100 words
Barbara BucklesArtist, writer, storyteller, spy. Okay, not a spy…I was just going for the rhythm.
I call myself “an inveterate dabbler.” (And my husband calls me “an invertebrate babbler.”) I just love to create one way or another. My latest passion is telling true stories live, on stage. Because it scares the hell out of me.
As a memoirist, I focus on the undercurrents. Drawing from memory, diaries, notes, letters and photographs, I never ever lie, but I do claim creative license when fleshing out actual events in order to enhance the literary quality, i.e., what I might have been wearing, what might have been on the table, what season it might have been. By virtue of its genre, memoir also adds a patina of introspection and insight that most probably did not exist in real time.
Characterizations:
funny, moving
I was thinking , “Eddie Haskell” even before you mentioned the name. Funny how manners can even be twisted into a weapon at times. You tell a deeper story with few words—very touching. I’m sorry you and your brother had/have such a difficult relationship.
I’m pleased that you were on my wavelength from the git-go. Larry died when I was 18 and he was just 23. It’s a long and troubling story, and I’ve written about it here so I won’t belabor the point. But we did have a love-hate relationship, at least it was so on my end. Now I just wish he’d lived longer so we could have worked things out, healed each of our wounds by outing secrets and dealing with the truth. Thanks for such a compassionate comment, Khati.
Well said: Good manners can mask bad character.
Thanks, Michael.
Well said, Barb. I totally agree. Manners can be put on and cast off, depending on the moment. Sincerity is what counts.
Thanks, Betsy…nothing wrong with good manners, as long as there’s good intent behind them.
Me too, Barb. Manners should make it easier to function in society but should not be used in a manipulative or deceptive way.
So true, Mare! I think our former (thankfully) Chief Expletive is a prime example. I’m sure he can charm the pants off people with his manners when he wants to (and has!).
I loved hearing your voice rewritten as that of your much-younger child-self! Very convincing.
Music to my ears, Dale…means a lot, thanks!
Sad to read this Bebe. knowing what we do about your brother Larry.
But writing about him is therapeutic and I’m glad you do!
Thanks, Dee…it’s complicated, right?
I’m so sorry about Larry, Barb, but this RetroFlash is great. Like Khati, I was thinking “Eddie Haskell” right from the get go; you did such a perfect job of setting this up in only a few words. And you also absolutely nailed the kid sister’s whiny voice as well.
Now, unfortunately, Eddie’s typical suck-up spiel to the elder Cleavers is an evil earworm for me. (Will have to start humming “Please Please Me” instead.)
Thanks, John…I truly appreciate your comments as to the crafting of the story!
Perfect RetroFlash, Barb, and the Eddie Haskell vibe came through to me right away as well. Love the childish voice, it sounds like you found an old diary and just copied a page. And what a wonderful photo to illustrate the story!
Thanks, Suzy…you hit all the salient points I hoped to convey. And I couldn’t believe it when I found that photo…totally fake smile on my brother’s face!
D’accord! Someone who knows exactly what utensil or glass to use but doesn’t know to treat the wait staff with respect is just a polished jerk. I prefer kindness to etiquette.
I actually ended a friendship over just that, Dave!
I’m with you, Barb, although I think we all knew many Eddie Haskells in our lives. My mother used to point them out to me as a kid, but I knew the real score.
Well said, Barbara. The pretense of good manners is the ultimate exemplar of bad manners, yes?
Well said, Tom!
Barbara, this reminded me of a classmate of my son’s many, many years ago. I commented on this kid’s good (Haskellesque) manners, and my son just rolled his eyes. “Mom,” he said, “he’s not a nice kid.” People know, even at a young age, don’t they?
Well, your son had likely seen his true colors. Most of us did (and do) put on our best manners for those outside our home, and I distinctly remember my mother saying “Why treat strangers better than you treat your own family?” Of course we’re more relaxed at home, but she had a point…up to a point.