Both Sides Now
1968 was a pivotal year for our nation, and it was for me personally as well.
That year Judy Collins recorded the Joni Mitchell song Both Sides Now, and I listened to it over and over again. In 1968 I was looking at love from both sides myself, and in June I got married for the second time.
My first marriage had lasted a little over a year. Yet during that year Alan and I drove cross-country, we camped in the Rockies that first summer, I took a Great Novels course and read Ulysses, that fall I started my first job, we took our maiden trip to Europe, living in Buffalo we crossed the Canadian border several times, and that winter I learned to ski. But despite good times together I knew the marriage was floundering, and after some sturm und drang we divorced. (See My Snowy Year in Buffalo , My Love Affair with James Joyce , Flowers on the Windshield and Obit)
I thought the experience of marriage-gone-wrong would make me wiser, that the next time around I’ll take it slow and follow my head and not just my heart. But soon after the divorce I met Danny and we moved in together.
And then Martin Luther King was shot, and two months later Bobby Kennedy. We thought we could assuage our anger and our grief by marrying, so a week after Kennedy’s death we eloped, and now five decades later we’re still together. (See Bed and Breakfast, Valentine’s Day in Foggytown , and New Leaf)
As in all marriages I’m sure, ours has had its ups and downs, and in many ways we’re still poles apart, even in our world view – I see the glass half full, he often sees it half empty.
But we share the same values, we make each other laugh, we like the same music, and we still listen to that song.
I’ve looked at love from both sides now/
From give and take and still somehow/
It’s love’s illusions that I recall/
I really don’t know love at all.
Do you?
– Dana Susan Lehrman
Dana Susan LehrmanThis retired librarian loves big city bustle and cozy country weekends, friends and family, good books and theatre, movies and jazz, travel, tennis, Yankee baseball, and writing about life as she sees it on her blog World Thru Brown Eyes!
www.WorldThruBrownEyes.com
I also love this song, Dana. I even sang it, solo, at a Youth Group conclave for my temple that year. I find it enthralling, bittersweet, perfect for that era.
You were at a different point in your life when you encountered this song and it resonated in an entirely different way, as you’ve shared. I suppose that is the measure of a great song – it speaks to all of us, no matter what we are going through at that moment.
Thanx Betsy!
I love this song too, Dana, both Judy’s version and Joni’s. I think, as Betsy says, this song can resonate at any stage of life. Thanks for reminding me of it, and sharing how it fit into your own life.
Thanx Suzy.
I heard this song recently sung (sorry, can’t remember who sang it) to recognize Joni Mitchell at the Kennedy Center honors a couple of months ago. Always loved it, along with many of her other songs. It’s both so wistful and wise, relevant for any stage of life, including your breakup and second marriage, up to today.
Great Mare, good to know you’ve heard it sung recently!
Somebody named Brittany Howard sang it at the Kennedy Center Honors, accompanied by Herbie Hancock. I wasn’t crazy about her interpretation of the song. Here it is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3J2nqeDf2g
Thanx Suzy. I’d never heard of Brittany Howard , and researched her, very interesting.
And I do like her interpretation and love her voice, and am reminded again what a good song it is altho it reminds me of a strange time in my life!
1968 was a crazy year (how did so much fit into that one year?) and “Both Sides Now” a great song. Joni Mitchell’s lyrics are outstanding, and I still sing this song to myself regularly. And Judy’s voice was so clear. Congratulations on making marriage number two last—making each other laugh and enjoying music together can conquer just about all.
Thanx Khati.
I really don’t know LIFE at all. It continues to surprise me. That you and D share the same values, make each other laugh, and enjoy the same music is a glass full of love…cheers, Dee!
Indeed Bebe, who does know life at all!
Love that song and love your perspective. After 50 years, I would say that you really do know love.
Thanx Laurie, you and Fred too!
Love the song and am fascinated by the magic of elopement. I know of several marriages where the participants winkingly attribute their compatibility and longevity to elopement. Both sides, indeed! I also congratulate your choice of love as an antidote to the parade of loss and conflict we all endured in ’68. “We all need someone we can lean on/ And baby, you can lean on me.”
Thanx Charles!
We sorta had a wedding 50 years later!
https://www.myretrospect.com/stories/new-leaf/
Reading this again, I appreciated the picture too. Such a great story. I listened to Judy Collins constantly back in the day, and was thrilled when she came to sing in a small music venue a few years ago in little old Penticton!!!!! Albeit past her prime, it was still wonderful to be right there next to her. Although, when we excitedly mentioned her visit to a couple of friends here, they had no idea who she was. I thought EVERYONE who lived through the sixties in North America knew her as an icon. Sigh.
Yes Khati she certainly is an icon, and saw her recently on a Sunday morning news show supporting Kamala.
Dana, I love this story. It’s so personal and it brings back so many memories. Thank you.
Thanx Carol!