Black Tie Optional
As I’ve aged I’ve certainly gotten more forgetful, but the truth is I’ve always suffered a bit from that condition. In fact over the years there’ve been many times my forgetfulness had some unfortunate or embarrassing consequences. One recent December it happened again after we got a wedding invitation from friends.
Their son was to be married on New Year’s Eve at a lovely Greenwich, Connecticut hotel, so I knew it would be a gala affair. And sure enough there at the bottom of the elegantly engraved invitation were the words BLACK TIE OPTIONAL.
My husband Danny hadn’t worn his tux in a few years and so I urged him to try it on, and happily it still fit. Then I checked the wedding registry and ordered a gift, booked a room at the Greenwich hotel, and called the cat sitter.
And then I remembered two out-of-town weddings we’d attended in the past.
The first was many years ago when my cousin Kathy was to be married in the lovely garden of her parents’ Revolutionary-era house in Northampton, Massachusetts. Getting ready for the car trip I packed our suitcase, gathered that we needed for our year-old toddler, and put Danny’s suit and my dress in a garment bag. I hung the garment bag in the closet near our apartment door.
Packing the car with the suitcase, the toddler, and all the requisite snacks and toys, I forgot – you guessed it – the garment bag. Terribly embarrassed, we both went to that wedding in jeans.
Then years later we were getting ready for another out-of-town wedding. The daughter of friends was to be married at a lovely venue – a vineyard on Long Island’s North Fork.
The morning we left for the wedding I took out two new garment bags I had bought, zipped Danny’s suit in one and my outfit in another, and hung them both in the closet. But this time I made a point of telling myself not to forget them!
But when we got to Long Island a few hours later and Danny was unloading the car, I realized I had done it again . Although I’d remembered to check the closet, it seems I’d forgotten that our clothes were now packed in TWO garment bags, and I took only one – by chance the one with Danny’s suit. So while he looked spiffy at the wedding, much to my chagin I wore jeans once again.
So when we got that recent New Year’s Eve invite, I was determined to play it safe. I zipped up our clothes in our two garment bags and carried them both down to the car myself.
Once in our hotel room I unzipped the two bags and hung both our wedding outfits in the closet. Later when we were dressing for the big night I heard my husband say, “Where are my pants?
Sure enough there on the hanger was his tux jacket, but beneath it – no pants! And so I wore my cocktail dress to that wedding and Danny wore black tie from the waist up – from the waist down he was in brown corduroy. After all the invitation did say BLACK TIE OPTIONAL!
Postscript
Despite that embarrassing sartorial slip, we had a lovely time at the wedding. But back in the hotel room while I was hanging up my dress, I had an epiphany.
Hours earlier when Danny had missed the bottom half of his tuxedo, I’d forgotten to check the closet. For it seems his tuxedo pants had slipped off the hanger, and while we were at the wedding they’d been lying crumpled and forlorn on the closet floor.
I sure hope our next wedding invitation says COME AS YOU ARE.
– Dana Susan Lehrman
Dana Susan LehrmanThis retired librarian loves big city bustle and cozy country weekends, friends and family, good books and theatre, movies and jazz, travel, tennis, Yankee baseball, and writing about life as she sees it on her blog World Thru Brown Eyes!
www.WorldThruBrownEyes.com
Good one, Dana! Yes, very embarrassing to not be dressed appropriately for a fancy wedding because you left the clothing behind! Haven’t done that one yet, tho my dad left his suitcase behind when we drove east to bring my brother to Brandeis. We met up with local friends who insisted on taking us all to Anthony’s Pier 4 (at the time, in 1965, the nicest restaurant in Boston) for dinner. Funny photos of my dad, in a jacket and bow tie he borrowed from friend Murray. But not nearly the same, but I feel your pain.
Thanx Betsy!
My friend whose daughter was married on Long Island remembers when Danny and I arrived at the motel where we were all staying. She heard me scream from the parking lot when I realized my dress wasn’t in the car, and she and several other guests came running thinking who knows what had happened!
That was 7 years ago and I think by now the young couple have forgiven me for my inelegant appearance at their wedding as they now have two kids to worry about instead!
Well, I think I’ll just borrow that “excuse” the next time I have nothing to wear to a fancy event, and, it makes a great topic for small talk. Seriously, though (although I might have been serious), I can imagine your distress not once, not twice, but three times! Remember come-as-you-are parties? I don’t know about you, but somehow we always ended up in the cutest outfits, surely not as we were. Thanks for another fun (?) story, Dee! As embarrassing as it all might have been, you made me smile in the end.
Thanx BB!
Last week we went to our first Zoom bat mitzvah, and the first such affair when I didn’t have to agonize over what to wear!
You should be off the hook, Dana, at least for the first incident, with a one-year-old at the time. It’s a miracle you could have remembered anything. I guess at the time people took their attire a lot more seriously than now. In California, it’s been so “anything goes” for a really long time. My father said he wouldn’t wear a tux at my wedding, which was fine, because it took place in the morning. As you say, all bets are off with Zoom, although I put on earrings sometimes because they show on the screen.
Yep Marian, for Zoom I don earrings too, otherwise forget it!
Dana, I just loved this story, especially because it happened to you THREE TIMES! You also cracked me up with your cocktail dresses – the black one or the other black one – although I thought you weren’t supposed to wear black to a wedding. Isn’t that what Emily Post says? Anyway, sounds like you still had a good time at all three weddings, regardless of attire, and as Barb says, it sounds like a great excuse for not dressing up for a fancy event (although it would only work for out-of-town events). Thanks for a good laugh this morning!
Thanx Suzy, I think the no black rule is just for the bridesmaids but I’ve even seen them in black at one wedding … and anyway the joke is everyone in New York just wears black!
I love this story, Dana. We were invited to a wedding which I thought said “Black tie optional” on the bottom. The day before as we were packing to go to Cleveland, I noticed it was “black tie.” Who has such a formal affair in Cleveland? My husband hadn’t worn his tux since our youngest daughter’s wedding many years prior and the pants “fit” but were very uncomfortable. Our daughter wisely suggested he wear black work pants, and no one was the wiser. I think jeans should be the attire for all weddings (LOL)!
Thanx Laurie!
I do like dressing up, I just need to remember to bring the dress!
Thanks – I can now look forward to forgetting things I forgot.
Yep, me too Kevin!
I’m impressed that you have been to so many fancy weddings! But forgetting the clothes so often— great story. Of course your presence was more important than the clothes. You’d think Danny might be double-checking your work by now though.. More and more it takes a village to remember anything.
Thanx Khati, you said it!