To this day I have no idea why this incident, really a minor embarrassment in the scheme of things, continues to make me break into a cold sweat and make my stomach twist if I think about it. Probably it has to do with realizing I hurt and/or angered another person without meaning to.
The room froze, and I immediately realized that I'd said something that was taken in a way I didn't mean.
My first full-time job after college was working in a San Francisco advertising agency, where I’d been promoted from the receptionist to the admin for an account executive. Unfortunately the main client wouldn’t accept a woman at any higher level, and I wanted to pursue writing anyway, so I left. I look back on my time at the agency with fondness and really enjoyed being there, and especially learning from the copywriters, who were very experienced. Ultimately I got a job writing for a biomedical company in Palo Alto.
For reasons I don’t remember now, I had the occasion to go back to San Francisco and drop in at the agency. It was wonderful see the people there. They had just taken on a new writer, whose name I can’t recall, who was relatively young. I thought he was there to help out one of the senior-level writers, so when we were introduced, I said, “Hi, it’s great to meet the junior writer.” The room froze, and I immediately realized that I’d said something that was taken in a way I didn’t mean.
I’d thought it was common to use “junior” as the opposite of “senior” to indicate someone with a bit less experience, but apparently this wasn’t the case, and this man took it to mean he had limited ability and potential. Somehow I got out of the situation, but I was so mortified that I couldn’t even apologize.
If this were to happen now, I think I’d be able to apologize and salvage the situation. At least I hope so.
MarianI have recently retired from a marketing and technical writing and editing career and am thoroughly enjoying writing for myself and others.
Your last paragraph really says it all, Mare…it’s nice to think we’ve matured to that point — think being the operative word. Hopefully we won’t have to put it to the test.
Thanks Barb. I hope I’d have the poise to take back what I’d said and explain that it was a misunderstanding. Fascinating how words can be different to different people!
Oh, and BTW, great featured image!!
Thanks, Barb, I found it on Google images under surprise!
Aha, so you used the word “mortified” too! Maybe it’s a Jersey thing. I can’t help thinking there was sexism at work in causing the room to freeze – a woman calling a man “junior” was shocking. If you had said that to a young woman, nobody would have batted an eye. And likewise if you had been a man, especially an older man, I bet no one would have minded. Just sayin’ . . . .
Really perceptive take, Suzy, I hadn’t thought about it that way. Especially at the time, I wouldn’t have blinked an eye if someone had called me a junior writer at the job I’d just taken. I wrote my story before I read yours, so yes, mortified could be a Jersey thing.
I think when we are young, it is hard to come up with the right thing to say after a gaffe. In retrospect, Marian, yours was not so bad. Sorry the guy made you feel that way.
Thanks, Laurie, especially since I really liked meeting the guy and thought I was saying something nice, I think I got stopped in my tracks.
I just used the word “mortified” in a comment to one of Marcia’s cartoons…I know how you felt; that awful, queasy feeling. I agree with the other comments. With maturity comes wisdom and your last remark says it all. You now would have read the room and come out of the situation better. I hope you feel better now, and can relate to your situation. I’ve done things like that too and wish I could press “erase, replay”. We carry those moments with us a long time. Hope it feels good to share and know you are not alone.
Yes, Betsy, I don’t feel as bad about this incident as I did before I wrote the story. Maybe we can even say “erase, replay,” when we say something embarrassing!
Ah Marian, I hope you can stop agonizing over your long-ago innocent words, I’m sure “Junior” has forgotten it by now, and who knows, maybe he went on to win a Pulitzer!
Thanks, Dana, my angst has been reduced appreciably. Now I wish I could remember the guy’s name!